Welcome from the bridge of the star ship Enterprise as I clutch the rails, cosmic wind streaming through my hair (well it would, if I had any) on our rescue mission to save the planet Rodg. There’s a crisis down there and the planet is in mortal danger. The dustbin men are on strike and alien zombies are taking over the whole lymphocyte population and replacing them with indolent teenagers. There are Fifteen year olds hanging about on every corner, doing no work and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Soon there will be no adults left on the planet and the whole ecosystem will collapse.

But help is at hand. Campath and his sexy sidekick Fludarabine have a cunning plan. Four days ago Campath was beamed down onto the surface and started bundling-up the whole lymphocyte population, good or zombie, in large bin liners labelled ‘rubbish’, and there were many. At last the dustbin men were stimulated into some action. The first few days of the cleanup were ugly, with piles of rubbish every where, but by the fourth day there were only a few stragglers left. Meanwhile, a day after her partner, the slinky Fludarabine beamed herself deep into the subterranean marrow, where the baby lymphs hatch, to seek out each and every one and snip their DNA strands. Slaughter of the Innocents for the greater good I’m afraid.

Campath will have finished his job today, and by tomorrow Fludarabine’s gruesome work below will stop and she will evacuate the planet prior to execution of the final part of the plan. The Melphlan Bomb.

Can their audacious plan possibly work? Will the bomb destroy all communication with the space craft?

Stay tuned for Chapter Two of the dynamic duo’s exciting adventures.

ps. Don’t worry about the dustbin men; they survive.